1. A surprisingly adorable way to hex her ex.
So she can release aggression in a healthy-ish way. $13.95; Etsy
2. A card to show her it’s up from here.
Because her heart isn’t the only part of the equation. $4; Etsy
3. A body pillow to cozy up to at night.
Since her bed may be a little lonely until she realizes the beauty that is having the entire thing to herself. $29.95; Amazon
4. A book from someone who has so been there.
Amy Poehler delivers some breakup truth in her memoir Yes, Please: “Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.” $9.53; Amazon
5. A high-quality way to eat her feelings.
This treat sampler is loaded with goodies like chocolate-dipped pretzels and chocolate-covered cheerios. $62; Mouth
6. A precious puppy to prove good still exists in the world.
The app Bark ‘N’ Borrow matches animal lovers with nearby dogs for free cuddle sessions.
7. An art print to remind her that loyalty does in fact exist.
Because vino will never break her heart. $12; Etsy
8. A soundtrack to the inevitable sobbing sessions.
As if this list would be complete without 25, Adele’s new CD. $12.99; Target
9. A way to turn her bath into a spa-like experience.
This bath bar explodes into bubbles, and as a bonus, it’s named Karma—a nice touch if her ex treated her terribly. $11.95; Lush
10. A cross-stitch she can look at whenever her ex texts her.
It’s a pretty little reminder to stay strong and not respond. $28; Etsy
11. A captivating graphic novel to take her mind off it all.
If she’s just sad, it’ll distract her from the breakup. If she’s enraged, it’ll do that plus inspire her to imagine her ex getting eaten by zombies. Convenient! $35.99; Amazon
12. A creative way to toast her independence.
When sipping from a glass is too basic for her tastes, try the Chambong. You fill it up, tilt it back, and drink from the bottom instead of the top. Repeat until she hits that tipsy “My ex lost out, I am as amazing as Beyoncé” point. $30; Chambong
13. A stress ball for when her ex Instagrams date night with someone new.
If she just so happens to imagine it’s her ex’s heart while squeezing, so be it. $25; Etsy
14. A plane ticket to somewhere tropical.
You two can do activities to broaden your horizons and challenge yourselves, so she can remember just how strong she is. Or you can hang out by the pool and get massages. Whichever.
15. A vehicle to burn everything her ex ever gave her.
It’s pretty much the epitome of cathartic. (Just be sure to research whether the items in question are safe to burn and how exactly to do so, because accidentally setting her backyard on fire would not be cool.) $102.99; Amazon
16. A shirt that validates turning down a date because she’s just not ready.
This is called taking herself on a movie and dinner date, and it’s a necessary part of the getting-over-it process. $15.95 and up; Etsy